口止｜大亏｜足夸｜夸 (The Crossing)
2025
installation, sculpture
This installation explores the self-making of queer and transmasc Chinese-American experience through a linguistic deconstruction of the Chinese character "跨", expressed by invoking traditional Chinese aesthetics alongside the overlapping aesthetics of leather, kink, and the hardware store.
The character "跨", which begins the Chinese word for transgender, "跨性别", is broken into four composite characters, each suspended within one of the four tiers of the hanging sculpture. When viewed from a standing position, these characters appear disconnected. Only when viewed from below, lying beneath the hanging sculpture, do the composite characters realign to create the character "跨". The audience must use their bodies to participate in reconstructing their own experience.
The character “跨” invokes a sense of stepping over: straddling, going beyond; a crossing, with one foot on either side. It can be broken into left and right components, “足” (enough, sufficient; foot, leg) and “夸” (boast; praise). These characters can be further split into top and bottom components: ”口“ (mouth; opening), “止” (stop, prohibit; only), “大” (big, great; major; old), and “亏” (unfair loss, deficit).
These deconstructed meanings suggest many reconstructed understandings. For instance: before transition (before I stepped over, before my crossing) I was disconnected, scattered, deconstructed; the sound of my voice (the opening to my self) prohibited me from interacting with the world as my self; I suffered dysphoria as a great and unfair loss, a deficit to my ability to exist. After transition (after crossing, after stepping over) my self was realigned, reconnected, reconstructed; I became sufficiently myself; I could walk and run and move with freedom; I could accept praise and praise my self.
The character "跨" itself also suggest many relevant meanings: I straddle the traditional Chinese worldview of my family and the queer freedom of my daily existence; I stride from woman-to-man, not quite neither, not quite both. I honor my heritage with invocations of traditional architecture and endless Chinese knots. I honor my self-made bodily freedom with invocations of queer desire and an endless transmasculine love of wood, leather, and hardware.
